Looking For Terry (The Song)

Looking for Terry

I was not looking for Terry, but the pasties.
It was lunch time and I was proper hungry.
‘Is this one a Cornish? Oh you’ve got me steak’.
They should have been here a long time ago.
I’ve spent £2.20 on a Pasty and Custard.
Terry was running an errand, ‘cos he’s the tea boy.
My pasties gonna be cold and my Custard squashed.
When he gets back I’m gonna kick him in the goolies.
I’m starving hungry for my pasty…

Never stop looking, never stop looking for my pasty. Where the f**k is he?
Never stop looking, never stop looking for my pasty. Where the f**k is he? 

I was still looking for Terry, then he turned up.
He’d been chatting up some school girl.
He said ‘she was well fit, i think i’m in’.
‘She left when she had to go to double a-level maths’.
But where were the pasties? He didn’t carry a bag.
‘me and Linda ate them in the park’.
I said ‘you tosser. I’m starving hungry’.
‘how am i supposed to work on an empty stomach’.
I’m kicking Terry in the balls.

Never stop looking, never stop looking for my pasty. Terry’s talkin’ chipmunk.
Never stop looking, never stop looking for my pasty. Terry’s talkin’ chipmunk.

Terry was working on some scaffold, so i pushed him off.
He’s on his way to the hospital.
I told Linda the Schoolgirl that he has Aids.
She’s never ever gonna visit him. 
I’ve had to go for my own pasty, Terry won’t ever walk again.
I’ve got my pasty.

Never stop looking, never stop looking for my pasty. Terry’s in a wheelchair.
Never stop looking, never stop looking for my pasty. I’m looking at 10 years.
Never stop looking, never stop looking… The laws in this country are a scandal. Lookin’ for my Pasty.
Never stop looking, never stop looking… All I wanted was my pasty. Is that too much to ask?
(Fade out)